if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize