woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
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Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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