YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You took a bar mat shot.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
