i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
