I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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