therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
