Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
