You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
