If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
