did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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