this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Hippo gnu deer
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
