Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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