Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
