Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
