My hand turned me down
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I think my fart just growled at me.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
