I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
