Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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