He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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