My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm gonna fight the coyote
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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