dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
