Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
