Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize