then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
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I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
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I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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