my mouth tastes like poor choices
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
