ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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