im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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