It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
