I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
