I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
