Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize