this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Randomize
