I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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