remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I don't think brook has ever known best
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
