kristin has been a bad kristin
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
