I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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