She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
