How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
