You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
