so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
