I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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