just tell him i said nine months
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
