I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
