You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
