They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
