You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
if i died would you start the facebook group?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
