so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
