hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
