no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
