Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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