I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
