So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
