all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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