i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
