i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm passing your future prison.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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