We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
