So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
