Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
