thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
