Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Dear god my vagina.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
