It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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