clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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