two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
